God the Father never forgives unbelievers who don’t repent of their sin. They never get saved. He never forgives believers who are not repentant either. They are positionally forgiven for past, present, and future sins because of Christ’s death on the cross, but they have broken fellowship with God if they don’t repent. A believer who sins is still saved, but he suffers loss for the sins he does, he is accountable on Judgment Day for each idle word and deed, and he bears the consequences of the sin he is unrepentant of in this life. God won’t listen to your prayers when you sin (Psalm 66:18). Nope. Repentance is actually required for forgiveness to be given by God.
What I’m saying is that for some reason Christians require something of each other that is impossible. They believe that if you don’t forgive an unrepentant person, you’re sinning, even if you love that person and are not angry, but just wounded. True forgiveness of an unrepentant person only enables the unrepentant person to continue abusing you. At some point we need to say, I must break off my relationship with you because of your unrepentant sin. Scripture supports this and actually commands it (I Corinthians 5:11-13). I don’t understand why people point to the victim with judgment and demand that they forgive. The victim is usually not vengeful and not angry. The victim isn’t the one that’s sinning; the unrepentant person is. God doesn’t forgive that person’s sins. Why should believers be required to somehow act better than God?
However, you must get rid of bitterness. So ask God to help you to forgive the person who wronged you, and release it to God. He can miraculously lift away the bitterness and help you to feel fresh and clean, and not tormented by that person’s sin any more.
If you would like to hear how I miraculously forgave a rapist, it’s included in my testimony of how I learned submission to my husband. You can get the audio here.Tweet