I would like to modify one thing about my love story, just to set things right, so that people don’t have a bad opinion about my husband. Even though Alan might have spent a few weeks living out of his car, he was never a bum. He was always a man of integrity, and he led me closer to Christ, even while living out of his car. For example, I felt like I was a piece of dirt, and I wanted to die. He parked his car, opened the Word of God, and spoke to me for hours about my identity in Christ. He spoke from Romans 6, 7, and 8. What he said just that one night changed my life. Never mind all the other times we talked about God. I still have tiny notes all over my Bible. What he was saying was true. Having grown up as a missionary kid, I had spent thousands of hours in the Word of God (voluntarily as well as in classes). I knew and had studied the Word of God deeply on a daily basis for years.
What I’m saying is, he was the strong one. He led me spiritually, even then. He was physically pure when I married him, and that mattered to me. His love for me was real, not some stupid fantasy that other men had of me when I knew that they didn’t really know me. I dated many guys (just one time each) from the churches I attended over the years. No one compared to Alan, not even a little. He was head and shoulders above the rest and blew them all out of the water. I kept trying to move on when I knew he was interested in someone else and not me, but I never really was satisfied with anyone else.
I just want to say that he has been a great husband. I thought my life halted and came to a ruined standstill after being raped by a complete stranger who stalked me and wore a mask. Even though both my husband and I were pure on our wedding night (because the rape didn’t count), we were both punished for the sins of another man. All I wanted to do was make love to my new husband, but what with the excruciating pain and the flashbacks, we went though hell together. Some day I will write a book about how God healed me on every level of my being. (It will be my magnum opus, my greatest contribution to the world. My conversations with God alone were incredible. My testimony has led to the healing of many rape victims.) But honestly, if it weren’t for Alan, I don’t know where I’d be today. He is my life, my love, my everything. Besides God, I mean.
I just wanted to write a tribute to my husband, and proclaim to the world that he is not a bum and never was. I knew his heart was gold, and I was right.
Just a couple of years ago our church did a marriage class. We were supposed to write down three things that bugged us the most about our spouse. I thought long and hard, and I couldn’t think of anything. There was a lot of quiet time where everyone was writing stuff down. After giving Alan plenty of time, I leaned over and asked him what he wrote. He backed up and showed me a blank page. He said he couldn’t think of anything bad about me.
I’m just going to let that sink in for a minute…
I told him that I couldn’t think of anything bad about him either. Do you realize what this means? This is absolutely staggering, but get this: We have an ideal marriage. And I don’t take it for granted. It was forged through intense fire, many times. Everyone who knows me covets my marriage, or wishes that their marriage was even half as good. I fall on my face before God, and I truly, truly thank God for the incredible husband that He has given me.Tweet