My Prayers Are Stale (Part 1)

prayers-are-staleDo you feel like your prayers are stale, that you say the same thing over and over again until it almost rings hollow? That’s how my prayers have been recently. What started off as fresh prayer requests that God burdened my heart with, in saying the prayer so many times, my heart is almost absent. Can I say I am almost bored? And how can a true prayer warrior come to this place when she has been faithful for years, hacking a path with a machete and being delighted in the presence of God?

I grieve to think that I’m bored with my prayers. I gasp in horror at the implications of saying that communicating with my sweet Lord and Savior means nothing to me, that I want to go away, this prayer thing is too hard. I’m tired. Please understand, Lord, I just don’t want to be in Your presence.

I stop to weep. Tears are splashing on my keyboard as I write this because of course I don’t feel this way. Not really. At least I don’t mean to feel this way. Imagine your spouse saying, “Communicating with you is so boring; I can’t stand to be with you.”

You would crumple to the floor and sob. I would.

And yet that’s what I’m doing to God, by going through the motions of something that has become disconnected with my heart. I have failed.

Oh, I’ve technically remained faithful. Remember the day I promised Michael Farris I would pray for him every day till the day I died? I’ve been faithful. And I will do it, too, because I’m a woman of my word. But I always say the same words, “May all demons be gone from Michael Farris, his wife, and children in the name of Jesus. May they read Your Word and walk by Your Spirit. May he think clearly and win all his cases. Please heal Vickie’s body completely. May peace descend upon their home. Hedge it in from demonic activity.”

This may sound fine and dandy, but I’ve been saying it so many times that it’s hard to engage my heart.

It’s like that with everybody. I’m tired of praying.

So I said to my husband, “My prayers are stale. I’ve prayed the same things for so long that it’s possible that they’re no longer valid. I need to ask God for new, fresh ways to pray for these people.”

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2 Responses to “My Prayers Are Stale (Part 1)”

  1. Steve Case says:

    Susan, your awareness of going through the motions reminds me so much of Keith Green singing “My Eyes Are Dry.” I hope in the 18 months since you wrote this that you’ve found peace, but here’s the song just in case you’re still struggling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyxoqHBkwqY

    • Susan says:

      Great song! I enjoyed listening to Keith Green, and yes, the song addresses the subject of this blog post. I do have peace. I just want a constant, fresh connection to the Lord.

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