Now let me pause for a second to Scripturally defend praying the same thing over and over. Remember the widow who kept knocking on the door of the judge until he finally granted her request? She kept asking the same thing. And Jesus told us to pray that way. No kidding. Out of the mouth of Jesus.
For example, I knew of a man who wasn’t saved, and I prayed for his salvation every day for years until the day that God saved his soul. And on that day I felt so much joy that tears streamed down my face, even though I had never met him. You see, a woman I loved asked me to pray for this man, and I loved that man through her.
And yes, the prayer sounded identical every day. But I was being faithful. And God was pleased. It wasn’t a sin for me to keep saying the same thing over and over. God says to do that.
And yet when your entire prayer structure has become this way, any creative person wants to grab it and smash it against the wall, shattering the prayer structure into a million pieces.
Where are the people that I loved from my previous church, that I handed over to someone else during the summer? I miss those people so much. The burden wasn’t so bad. I LOVED that burden, even though it depleted me. I got updates every week at church, so my prayers were always fresh. And the continuing prayer requests didn’t seem trite and hollow. Not like now, when I’m sick of praying the same things. But it’s not like I can stop. I am a woman of my word.
I miss feeling connected to a church body. “Susan, it took you ten years to get that close to people. Give it time,” my husband said gently when I wanted to scream over the fact that I haven’t connected to my new church.
It’s just too much work, and I don’t really care, so I’m probably not even trying. And if you get close, they will only stab you in the back and twist it, and it will take you at least a year to recuperate from the damage.
Maybe that’s it. I’m not praying for the ones I’m supposed to be praying for, because I don’t want to get close to them.
Forget it. I don’t want to do it. Wow, that’s sin. Here I’ve been sinning and didn’t even know it. Not connecting to the body of Christ is sin, no matter how much I want to protect my heart from pain.Tweet