Refresh Your Marriage: Go Back to Your First Love

February 8th, 2021

refresh-your-marriage

To breathe new life into a marriage that is going through hard times, go back to where you first fell in love. This will refresh your marriage by re-igniting what you had at the beginning of your relationship.

You can do this in many ways, but one tangible way is to go to the places and do the things you did at first. Remember the excitement of when you were dating, how you studied the face of this person and found him so dear. All those feelings are more easily accessed when you return to the original place where you first kissed, or where you got married, or where he first proposed to you, or where you went on your first date.

This is way easier if you live in the same city where you dated, where you got proposed to, where you kissed, etc. For me, I met my husband in California, he proposed in England, we married in Texas, and we are now living in Washington state. So how do we re-create those early memories?

Refresh Your Marriage: Go Back to Your First Love

First of all, we first met in California on a college church retreat that was on an ocean beach. We used to go to the same college Bible study, so we would walk around campus and talk. Secondly, we dated and first kissed in England, and he proposed to me at Planet Hollywood in London. Third, we got married in a small college chapel with stained glass windows in Texas.

So here in Washington state, we found a college campus. We parked nearby, walked to the school, and walked around, exploring the campus. Yes, the feeling I had more than 20 years ago came back, and we felt like college-aged kids again. We kissed in the stairwell of one of the buildings with classrooms, we saw a recreation building with students pre-occupied with their books and relationships, and we explored the small chapel that reminded us of where we got married, since it had stained glass windows. The feeling of how it was back then rushed back like a breath of fresh air, like a breeze lifting me to a better place.

It took merely half an hour, and it was free. It was one of my favorite date nights with my husband, because we had been going through a difficult time full of grief and sorrow, and going to a college campus was like a time machine, transporting us back to the beginning of our relationship. It was so beautiful, I wanted to cry for joy.

Ever since, I have been wanting to write about this fun and unique date, one that you can re-create yourself. For example, if your first kiss was on a bridge, go to that original bridge (or a similar one in the city where you now live), and go through the same situation that brought you together. Reminisce about how things were, and how you felt. Re-enter that moment through the re-entry point of that physical space, and go back to your first love like a time capsule.

Last March, my husband and I returned to the very campus in California where we first went to Bible study together, and where we spent so much time. While driving around the campus, I wanted to roll down the windows and blast 1980’s music, laugh, and be carefree. What a freeing feeling!

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Posted in Marriage | 4 Comments »

The End Game: Long-Term Goals for Children

January 11th, 2021

long-term-goals-for-kids

Years ago, back when my kids were tiny, I saw an article in a homeschool magazine that stressed the importance of setting long-term goals for our children if we wanted to see them accomplish everything we consider important. The magazine article broke the long-term goals into different subject headings, so I tweaked and brainstormed what kinds of skills and knowledge I wanted my kids to have acquired before leaving home as adults. Because I knew what my end game was, I knew that I needed to break those goals down into incremental steps over the years, to achieve those goals with my kids.

I brainstormed not only skills and knowledge in different subject areas that I wanted my kids to know, but also areas of character. As a result of those goals, I knew where I was headed, and I focused on the things that mattered rather than on frivolous things. Over the years my kids were able to advance in so many ways, far beyond where I was at their ages, even in their character.

Here is a workshop I delivered recently about goal-setting, where I go into more detail in each subject area, and why we stressed some areas more than others:

If you want to see the full list of goals I wrote so many years ago, here they are:

The skill areas encompass reading, writing, and math, as well as other practical skills such as swimming, cooking, sewing, hand-eye coordination through basic sports skills, driving, etc. For example, I wanted my kids to be able to swim, at least to tread water and get back to shore if a boat was capsized. This skill was important for my kids to have before they left home.

Knowledge areas include science, history, geography, literature, etc. For example, my children learned how to identify over 50 plants and trees based on leaves and other features of the plants. We also read a lot of classical literature, which helped my kids expand their vocabulary so that they could read on a higher lever.

long-range-goals-for-children

Experiences also affect learning. When you experience something, you are more likely to master it or retain the information. This is why I have valued hands-on learning all the way through my children’s upbringing. We experienced a different culture by traveling to Guatemala to see my childhood stomping grounds. We experienced a medieval feast and a Renaissance fair to get into those historical time periods. We went on numerous field trips to see and experience the most out of life that our tight budgets would allow.

The character of my children was the most important area that I stressed, and I’m glad I did. Not only are my kids honest and kind, but they are eager to help other people, they are funny, and they are deep thinkers. I love who they are turning out to be. And we have had so many experiences as a family that have bonded us together in unity, to give my children a sense of identity. They know who they are.

This is why I highly recommend setting some long-range goals for your kids. When we plan long-term goals for our children, we are more likely to achieve those goals, and we can have great experiences along the way.

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Posted in Organization | 6 Comments »

Quarantine Introspection

January 4th, 2021

quarantine-introspection

Never could we have imagined what 2020 had in store one year ago, while ringing in the new year. Never could we have known the whole world would shut down over microscopic particles, that the economy would bankrupt thousands of companies, that looting and prejudice would rise up, and that politics would be so divisive.

This year has had it all. And yet of all years, this year I have learned to be more of a Mary at the feet of Jesus rather than any other year. Instead of doing for the Lord, I was being more in the presence of the Lord. Yes, there was still plenty of ministry, but it seems like I sat in the presence of God way more this year than any other year because of the pandemic.

As we move into the new year, here are 5 Scripture verses that God brought to my mind to prepare our hearts for 2021:

Looking back over 2020, here are some things we’ve done as a family to pass the time productively during the quarantine:

  • Going for walks around the neighborhood for exercise
  • Putting together a world puzzle & learning about different countries
  • Creating a backyard oasis and vegetable garden
  • Reading books and doing creative writing, including poetry
  • Deepening relationships over the phone and through Zoom

To get a picture of a productive activity that you can do during a quarantine, here is a video of my daughter and I, on a walk during the pandemic. My daughter has the goofiest conversation that she makes up on the spot:

I would like to leave you with a poem I just wrote:

The Quarantine: A 10-Minute Freewrite Poem

hunkered down inside a house
with curtains drawn
waiting for the plague to pass
examining our hearts
looking up to the Almighty
setting our houses in order
wondering if the next fatality
will be someone dear
afraid to hug, to be near
separated by distance
never quite connecting
alone in a pile of thoughts
inactive and desensitized
waiting for things to get back
to normal, to the expected
but life will never be the same
fragility of life is in the forefront

May this New Year bring more of the presence of God into our lives, and may we prioritize the things that matter!

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Posted in Christian Living | 8 Comments »

Snow-Themed Hands-on Activities

December 11th, 2020

snow-themed-hands-on-activities

I recently gave a workshop on snow-themed hands-on activities, explaining how to cook snowflake funnel cakes, how to make snowflakes that cling to glass, how to build a successful snow cave, and how to create snow scenes for a centerpiece for your dining room table.

Snow-Themed Hands-on Activities

Here is the workshop with snow-related fun this winter season:

The workshop began with a demonstration of how to make paper snowflakes. This is important in making snowflake funnel cakes because in the same way that you cut out snowflakes on paper, you can cut out snowflakes using flour tortillas.

Cut a piece of paper into a circle, and fold the circle at least twice. With scissors, cut out designs as illustrated in the video. Then unfold the paper to see your unique snowflake. You can glue glitter to your snowflakes or hang them from the ceiling.

Snowflake Funnel Cake

In the same way, grab a fajita tortilla and fold it twice. Using the kitchen shears, cut designs into the tortilla’s folds. Then open the tortilla.

snowflake-funnel-cake

Heat about an inch of oil in a pan, and deep fry the snowflake tortilla on both sides until golden brown. Remove the tortilla with tongs and place it on a plate with a paper towel on it. The paper towel will absorb some of the oil. Sprinkle powdered sugar over the tortilla snowflake. Enjoy eating your snowflake funnel cake!

How to Make Snowflakes that Cling to Glass

To make snowflakes that cling to glass, you will need dimensional fabric paint (or regular white school glue), wax paper, and a paper and pencil.

tracing-snowflake-glue

First, draw a snowflake on a piece of paper. If you prefer, you can find a design online, and print it out. Place wax paper on top of it, and tape it down. Have your child trace the design with the dimensional fabric paint (or white school glue). Make sure that there are no thin lines. All lines should be thick so that when you peel the cling snowflake off the wax paper the next day, it will stay together.

snowflakes-that-cling-to-glass

It works much better with the dimensional fabric paint, since it is thicker and more solid, but it can also work with the white school glue. Make sure to dry the snowflake overnight before trying to peel it off the wax paper. You can stick it to a window or a mirror.

How to Build a Snow Cave

snow-cave

To make a strong snow cave that will not collapse, start by building a mountain of snow. Have the kids climb on top of the hill of snow to compact it down. Then start digging an entrance to the cave. You can make several rooms depending on how big your mountain of snow is. It’s particularly fun to play in the snow cave at night with a flashlight. For more information on building a cave out of snow (and a video of the finished snow cave my kids built), go to: How to Build a Snow Cave.

Snow Scene Centerpiece

In the video I describe how to make a snow scene centerpiece. You get a glass container and dump rock salt in it. Grab some greenery and some winter decorations (or a nativity scene), and arrange it on the “snow” in your scene. Take a look at one of my creations: Snow Scene Centerpiece.

Bonus: How to Make a Snowflake Card with Yarn

I’ve added a bonus snowflake hands-on activity for you: snowflake cards. I did not discuss this craft in my workshop above, but I give a step-by-step tutorial here: Snowflake Card.

snowflake-card

You will need black card stock paper, white string or yarn, and a thumb tack. Draw a snowflake with pencil on the black paper, and use the thumb tack to punch holes along the lines. Then sew the snowflake onto the card. You can use a thick needle, or just push the string through by hand. It looks gorgeous as a Christmas card!

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Posted in Fun Winter Activities | 2 Comments »

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