Posts Tagged ‘conversion’

“I’m So Sorry, Mommy…”

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

conversion-storyMy daughter Rachel ran into my room and burst out crying, “I’m so sorry, Mommy…” This was the second time in one week she had confessed her sin before I found out what she did. The first time was a few days previous, when she told me that she had stuffed some math pages behind her bed so she wouldn’t have to do them.

“What did you do now?” I asked her through her tears.

“I cut the beaded doorway with the scissors.”

Walking to the kitchen, I saw two strands of the beaded doorway cut. I was visibly disappointed, because our entire family had enjoyed going in and out of the doorway, swishing the beads. I had found that at a yard sale over the summer, and the odds of finding another one for $3 were slim to none.

She wailed, because perhaps she had liked the doorway the most. She and I walked into my room, and I sat down with her. My daughter has a knack for getting into trouble.

“The reason you do bad things is because you don’t have Jesus living in you. You can’t help but sin,” I said. “Would you like to have Jesus in your life, helping you to do what’s right?”

“Yes,” she said. I could see that she understood her depravity for the first time. I presented the gospel, which she had heard before, but somehow never appropriated to herself. I said that Jesus died for her sin.

“But I wasn’t born back then,” said my daughter.

“Jesus died for your sin before you were born. He paid the price for the sin of everyone who would believe in Him. Your sin deserves death, and He died so that you could have a relationship with Him.”

She wanted to know how to ask Christ into her life. I was so excited, I called my husband. “Can I lead her to Christ without you? She’s ready.” My husband said to do whatever God was leading me to do. So I hung up the phone and led her to Christ.

Every year when Rachel gets her MRI for the lump on her back, I never know if she will need surgery and die. Every year I have to put her on the altar of my life and choose Christ above my daughter. And every year I wonder when the age of accountability is, and that if she were to die, would I know that I would see her again in heaven.

Now with tears streaming down my face, I don’t have to wonder any more. And for this I am truly grateful.

It’s Hard for the Righteous to be Saved

Friday, November 19th, 2010

its-hard-for-the-righteous-to-be-savedMy third son Nathaniel has always been quite obedient and easygoing. He never went through the “terrible two’s” stage; he simply put his chin down when he was upset. He was such an easy child that I guess I forgot to train him. Not really, but my focused training always went to the other children who seemed to be lacking in ways that were more obvious. I still taught him about God and required obedience, but parents will naturally give more attention to the squeaky wheel rather than the one who is not causing resistance.

My husband and I used the book The Lamb (by John R. Cross) to present the gospel to our son when he was five. He didn’t seem to fully grasp the gospel at the time, almost like he wasn’t paying attention. He enjoyed the story, though.

We waited about six months, and it was December of last year when we read the book again. This time he understood it, but something was off. My husband sensed it, too, and we couldn’t quite put our finger on what it was. We waited.

I asked God for wisdom to know what my son was lacking, and I saw that he always felt that he was in the right. If he was ever disciplined for anything, he never took responsibility but would blame everyone else. I realized that he didn’t think he ever sinned. How can the righteous enter the kingdom of God? It is impossible. I asked God to show me how to get through to him.

One day he was upset and went into his room and tore his outer space poster. I can’t remember if he came and told me what he did, or if one of his brothers tattled on him, but there I was, standing in his room, looking at how ugly the poster looked as it hung there, torn and mangled. I saw the doorway through which to reach my son. As I prayed for the right words, I said, “That is your heart without God.” I pointed to the poster. My son cried. It actually seemed to sink in.

He took responsibility for what he had done. He didn’t play the victim like before. He said what he had done was wrong. I told him that was because all that was in him was sin. He needed a Savior. He needed Christ in his life to help him live the way he ought to live. He said he wanted to be saved. I waited for my husband to get home before telling him, “Today is the day of Nathaniel’s salvation. His heart is right where it needs to be.” Nathaniel explained to his dad what he had done, and my husband talked with him and led him to Christ. Once again, there were tears streaming down my face.

“Why are you crying, Mom?” my son asked with joy in his face.

I was too choked up to speak. My husband explained to my son that this was the most important day of his life, and that I knew it, and that’s why I was crying, because I was happy.

He Smashed the Glass

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

conversion-storiesI think it’s odd that all three of my sons gave their lives to Christ in December during their sixth year of life. My second son Stephen has always been an energetic, loud, constantly moving presence in our house. When my husband and I read the book The Lamb (which presents the gospel) to him at age five, we looked at each other and agreed that he wasn’t ready to give his life to Christ. We could have gone through the motions of it. I’m sure he would have done it. But the timing wasn’t right. He didn’t fully understand the severity of his own sin, his depravity.

We waited six months. It was December. We went through the book again, discussing the chapters. When we got to the end, my husband said, “Something’s not right. He understands the story of the gospel, but he doesn’t show remorse for sin.” So we waited yet again.

A few days later, Stephen had so much anger, he threw something. Our insect collection crashed, with broken glass everywhere. He said he didn’t mean to break the glass.

I just looked at him with horror. “That anger is what murder is made of,” I said gently with tears in my eyes. “And the sad thing is that you can’t help but do evil. This is what Christ died to free you from. There is no way for you to ever live the way you should without Christ in you, the Holy Spirit.”

He wept with such intensity. Tears splashed down his face as he cried out, “I need God!!! Inside me is only bad. I can never do what is right.”

“Do you want to give your life to Christ?”

“Yes! Please! I need Him so badly!”

We went upstairs, and I told my husband, “He’s ready. Today is the day of his salvation.” My husband listened as I told him what had happened. He talked with my son. Then they prayed together, and my son gave his life to Christ. Tears were streamed down my face, and there are just no words to describe my joy.

He Imitated My Spirit

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

conversion-storyWhen my oldest son Bryan was six years old, he asked me what it meant to worship God in spirit and in truth. I tried to explain it, but I was having trouble putting it into words. So I told him to watch me as I sang in spirit and in truth. My children and I started singing a praise song, and Bryan looked at me. Then he continued singing, and I looked into his face. His face looked like the face of an angel; his eyes were pure and he was singing with his heart. I didn’t even know you could teach things like that.

My son would ask me so many questions about God, and I enjoyed answering them. I could tell that his heart was seeking after God. My husband and I read the book The Lamb (by John R. Cross) to my son, and the book clearly explained the gospel. It included a CD and beautiful illustrations explaining how Christ is our lamb, and what it means to need a lamb who can atone for sin. Anyway, we read the book to Bryan two different times so that he had a thorough grasp of what Christ really did for him. We led him to Christ in December 2006. Tears were streaming down my face, and I could feel the presence of the Spirit. I could tell that my husband was all choked up, too, but I’m sure he would never admit it. We had led our own child to the Lord, and it mattered. It meant a lot.

Through the years I have seen a steady growth of character in my son. One time I realized that he stopped asking me about God, and all he wanted to talk about was robots. I was chatting with him one day in a darkened room. I said, “You realize that when you love anything more than you love God, it is idolatry. It is exactly the same as bowing down to a golden cow.” He looked at me, and I could tell by his eyes that he felt convicted. He put the covers over his head and lay there in silence for quite a while. After what seemed like a long time, he had made a decision. “I’ve decided to never play with robots again. I need to get rid of my legos.” He was all choked up. He was only eight years old at the time. He had made his decision. He had crucified his desires and put Christ first no matter what the cost.

I said to him, “Bryan, you don’t need to give up your legos. God has provided legos for our family, and it’s okay to play with them. I just miss talking about God with you. I just felt that your heart was somewhere else.”

He looked relieved. “So I can keep my legos?”

“Of course! God provides all good things for us to enjoy.”

He walked out of the room praising God.