Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

How to Get Your Husband to Pray with You

Friday, February 7th, 2014

how-to-get-your-husband-to-pray-with-you

How do you get your husband to pray with you? What if you have gotten into the habit of never praying together? How do you break this cycle?

How to Get Your Husband to Pray with You

  • Love and accept him for who he is. Ask God to change you so that you have a high opinion about your husband.
  • Don’t guilt trip your husband during your prayer. (I explain this more in the audio.)
  • Be vulnerable. An atmosphere of vulnerability deepens your love for each other.
  • Get rid of all bitterness toward your spouse.
  • Don’t use religious language, but pray the way that you talk, especially if this is the way your husband prays. This will make him not feel out of place while praying with you. Honesty trumps religiosity of language. Just be real so that he can relate to you.
  • Don’t characterize your husband as evil because of habits of sin in his life. He is a new creation and wants to please the Lord, but he is trapped in his flesh. You don’t want him to characterize you as evil because of your sin that he sees that he will not tell you about, because you will defend yourself. Look up to your husband and respect him, even if he sins. (I tell you how to do this in the audio.)
  • Understand that your husband is not inferior to you spiritually. Looking down on others is sin. Philippians 2 commands us to see other people as better than ourselves.
  • Admit your own shortcomings.
  • Pray that God will help you to draw together spiritually through prayer.
  • Allow your husband to lead you spiritually by following him spiritually. Even if he is a new believer, God has equipped him to lead you spiritually. If you allow him to lead, he is more likely to pray with you.

Here is the 30-minute audio workshop to help you pray together as husband and wife:

Right-click the link, “Save as,” and choose “Desktop” to download the audio. To listen to more audios on prayer and get a free e-book on prayer, like my Prayer Page.

Why Husbands and Wives Should Pray Together

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

why-husbands-and-wives-should-pray-togetherHave you ever wondered why husbands and wives should pray together? It will deepen your marriage; that’s why!

1. The most important reason to pray together is to be one with your spouse. If husbands and wives do not pray together, they are not one spiritually. God desires the husband to lead the wife spiritually in Ephesians 5:22-27, where the husband is supposed to wash his wife with the Word, to present her holy and blameless to God. How can he do that without communicating to God in her presence?

2. We reflect Christ and the church when we pray with our spouse. The husband is the personification of Christ, and the wife is the personification of the church. The physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy experienced between a husband and wife is supposed to reflect the church’s relationship to Jesus, where we are one, and we allow Him to enter us and rule us, and He lays down His life for us because of His incredibly deep love for us.

3. Jesus wants us to have unity. Jesus wants us to be one with our spouse the same way that God the Father and God the Son are one. In John 17:11b, He says: “Holy Father, keep them in Your name, which You have given Me, that they may be one, even as we are one.” (ESV) Do you understand how incredible that oneness is? Both of you must be saved, and you need to love God with ALL your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then God will purify and transform you to be more like Jesus. That’s how you are more and more one—because you are both more and more like Christ. Plus, selfishness is the root of all sin, and the more God purges you from sin, the more selfless you are, and the more capable you are of loving your spouse.

4. We are commanded within the body of Christ to pray for one another, and this includes your spouse. To not pray with your spouse is to declare that you are not comfortable with your spouse spiritually. But God can change that. If the reason you don’t pray with your spouse is that you don’t like other people to listen to your prayers, get over your fear of other people’s opinions. God commands you to pray out loud (James 5:16). Christ whipped people out of the Temple and said that His church would be a house of prayer. So prayer was the number one thing that Jesus said the church should be doing! If you are a brother and sister in Christ, you are the church. What He commands the church to do is what He commands every believer to do.

5. Praying will draw you closer to your spouse. I’m attracted to my husband’s soul when he is praying, and that transfers to better physical intimacy. Prayer cracks you open to the spiritual life of your spouse. It gives you a glimpse into his soul.

Why are godly men and women not praying together as husband and wife? Many times the reason is that their prayer lives are stagnant, and they don’t enjoy prayer. In this case, they don’t want their spouse to see through them, that they have stopped growing spiritually, and they just want to be comfortable instead of deepening their walk with God. Oh, the horror of stagnation! Force yourself to pray with your spouse if only to get yourself out of this stagnant cesspool of a lack of growth in Christ. Do not rest on your past laurels.

Stay tuned for “How to Get Your Husband to Pray with You,” practical ways to transition into praying together to experience spiritual oneness, plus a free prayer audio to show exactly how to do this, and why you should do this!

Praying with Your Spouse

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

praying-with-your-spouse

Praying with your spouse will deepen your marriage in incredible ways. The wife will see her husband’s spiritual heart, which will help her to honor and respect him the way that Scripture commands her to in Ephesians 5:33. All Christians desire to please God. If you don’t desire to please God, you are not saved. So if your husband is saved, you will be attracted to him spiritually when you pray. Even if you only pray for less than five minutes, the oneness you experience as you grow in your prayer life together is wonderful.

What do you do if your husband doesn’t want to pray with you? First of all, pray that God will change his heart about it. Most men do not want to be spiritually vulnerable with their wives. My own husband had someone rip his prayer to shreds one time while in college. He was praying aloud to God with all his heart, and afterwards a man criticized his prayer. He never wanted to pray aloud again.

If your husband has similar baggage, God needs to heal him. Talk about it, and let your husband know that you don’t care what he says in his prayers, that you love and accept him for who he is. What initially caused my husband to pray with me was my desperation in a particular situation where I had nowhere else to turn but to my husband.

how-to-pray-with-your-spouse

Another thing you can do is to make sure you never preach at your husband through your own prayers. I know people who do that. The person is talking to me and not to God because they are trying to convince me about something. Don’t ever do that. Men know when they’re being preached at, and they despise it because it’s pretentious.

If your husband doesn’t want to pray out loud, you can talk about a particular issue, then you can hold hands and close your eyes and pray together silently. It doesn’t have to be out loud. Just this simple act can draw you together, and eventually you can transition to praying out loud whenever you feel ready.

I’ve heard testimonies of couples who were fighting, and they decided to pray together while they were still angry. Each one asked God to forgive what they did wrong. After praying, they had already made up! That’s because all the other person wants is for you to admit whatever you did wrong. This is great for “not letting the sun go down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26), which means that you never go to bed angry with your spouse so that bitterness does not get a foothold (Hebrews 12:15).

One absolutely transforming way that God has used my husband to lead me as a wife spiritually is through my husband praying with me over specific sin issues in my life. Sometimes I will tell my husband I am struggling with anger or pride towards someone, and my husband will pray with me, and I feel released from the sin. One time my husband told me that I didn’t trust God, so we asked God to help me trust Him more. God answered in a huge way over the following months, just in response to that one prayer that my husband said over me that one night. God works in incredible ways when we join together as one with our spouse before the Lord in prayer.

For more prayer posts, follow my prayer page on Facebook.

Top 10 Ways to Listen to Your Spouse

Monday, February 11th, 2013

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Couples often say that their spouse doesn’t listen to them. Here are the top 10 ways to listen to your spouse:

  1. See the situation through the other person’s eyes. You’ll be able to change their mind easier if you know exactly where they are coming from.
  2. Ask questions to clarify what they are saying.
  3. Don’t let your mind wander. Listen for the main idea so you can make sense out of what they’re saying and respond correctly.
  4. Don’t antagonize them. “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13
  5. Part of loving a person is enjoying them. Care about what they care about.
  6. Look at the person who is talking to you. Don’t be distracted by other things. Stop what you are doing.
  7. Don’t be impatient, shaking your leg and wanting to be out of there.
  8. Paraphrase occasionally to make sure you understand what they are saying.
  9. Create an environment where your spouse feels safe and loved and not judged.
  10. Treat them how you would like to be treated.

Listening requires time and effort, but it’s worth it because you end up with a greater oneness in your marriage.

For some fun examples of how to listen to your spouse, watch this free webinar: “Listening to Your Husband.”

Linked to Sheila Gregoire’s blog hop.

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