How to Kiss Your Husband

how-to-kiss-your-husbandIf all you do is give a peck to your husband, you’re missing out on some great fun. Why not surprise your husband with a fabulous kiss that will knock his socks off?

Go drink some water first to make sure your mouth isn’t dry. But your lips need to be dry. Not dry like the Sahara, mind you, but dry to the touch. If your lips are so dry that they’re cracking, go put on some lip gloss. Not chapstick. That’s for men. Not lipstick. You’ll get that all over your husband’s mouth, and he’ll look like he’s been punched in the mouth.

Lip gloss is what I said, but it’s better to have dry lips. That’s because you have more control over your movements and aren’t all over the place like an out-of-control innertube. Yep. Sloppy, big old puppy kisses are for dogs and drooling babies. Your lips need to be dry.

Now you have to have a certain look in your eyes. The look is one of confidence, love, and desire. Lusting your spouse is pleasing to God, which is why He has a whole book of the Bible dedicated to the subject. If you don’t know what book it is, go read your Bible. It starts with the word “song,” implying that this will make you want to sing. You’ll get more how-to ideas there if you have any imagination whatsoever.

Back to the kiss. Go ahead and start kissing him. Your mouth needs to be open, not closed; soft lips, not hard. Do not focus on technique, or it will never be out of this world. This is the key, so pay close attention: you need to inwardly open yourself up completely. This inward opening is called vulnerability, and somehow the kiss is crazy good when this happens. Your husband will find this kind of kiss irresistible, and one thing will lead to another. So make sure your kids are in bed.

The other thing you can do is throw water on it. I’m talking about the kiss. Throw water on the kiss, and it will be wonderful. Yes, I know, I just told you to have dry lips, and that’s true about most kisses. But this is a completely different experience. Ocean waves, a swimming pool, a shower, a lake, or any wet environment will do. You don’t even need instructions for this, since it’s always good. If you’ve never kissed while being surrounded by water, go do it right now. I remember my first wet kiss… It was raining, and my husband pulled me out into the rain and kissed me passionately. I didn’t even care that my watch was being ruined. That was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.

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4 Responses to “How to Kiss Your Husband”

  1. Kissing is a favorite of mine… Also thats a great way to get the kids to leave you alone lmbo!!!!!!

    • Susan says:

      A quick kiss is fine in front of the kids, but I can’t “let go” in a real kiss if there are children in the room. A real kiss crosses the line into lovemaking, and I absolutely cannot do that around my kids. LOL

  2. Rashida says:

    LOVE THIS POST! but my husband is one of those sloppy kissers, LOL

    • Susan says:

      Just tell him you want a super dry kiss, and look at him all sexy, and see what he does… Otherwise if you add the water, you won’t notice. LOL

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