Susan's Homeschool Blog

When I joined Facebook last April, I did it with fear and trepidation, knowing it had been idolatry for me in the past. Several things made it idolatry:

1. I considered it more fun than spending time with God.
2. I spent time on Facebook instead of spending time with my husband when he was home.
3. I spent well over an hour a day on Facebook, so it swallowed up my time.

Because I love God and my husband more than life itself, I’m holding myself accountable. I promised my husband it would not be the same this time; that if I joined Facebook again, I wouldn’t let myself get swallowed up in it like a black hole. So now I have come to the end of the year, which is a time for reflection. Has Facebook been idolatry for me? Even though I have spent an enormous amount of time on Facebook this year, the answer is, unbelievably, “no.”

Do I look forward to Facebook more than I look forward to spending time with God? Does it cause me to speed up my prayers like it did that first day? The answer is no. I love my time with God way more than Facebook.

Do I spend time on Facebook instead of being with my husband? At first I made myself the rule to be off the computer whenever my husband was home. That way Facebook would never interfere with my marriage. But then guess what? My husband got me a cell phone with a connection to Facebook. He got himself a cell phone, too. Now picture this: my husband and I are sitting quietly on the couch on any given evening. My husband has his cell phone out and is showing me some silly YouTube video. Or he’s playing Angry Birds or some other inane game, to unwind from work so that he can sleep. I WANT my husband to unwind, so I highly support anything that helps him to relax and unwind.

But this now puts me in the position of sitting with my husband, with him playing on his phone, and me doing nothing. If I continue to do nothing, my husband will feel a false guilt for unwinding instead of “spending time with me,” so I get out my cell phone and check Facebook. My husband is not bothered by my sitting beside him and looking at my Facebook page while he’s playing Angry Birds or whatever. We are both happy. I pray for my Facebook friends, encouraging them in Christ, and developing deeper friendships. This is not sin.

I probably spend MORE time on Facebook now than I did back when it was idolatry. It’s because when I’m at the checkout line at the grocery store (alone), instead of just wasting time standing there, I check Facebook and encourage other human beings. It is good use of time.

And yet I must pause. I could easily be blind to my own sin. I must continuously check my heart and make sure that my priorities are straight. I haven’t even mentioned that I’m trying to run a business that God put on my heart to start, and the greatest amount of traffic for my blog and website comes from Facebook, because I truly love the people there. I read their stuff and watch the videos they post and care about what they think and pray for them. They’re real people, and I love them for real.

So is Facebook idolatry for me? I was off Facebook for three months in the summer, and I had no withdrawal symptoms. That indicates no addiction. But to be honest, it’s an ongoing struggle because I do enjoy it, and anything in my life that I enjoy can become idolatry if I don’t keep it in check. So I must continuously give it back over to God and pray that I will bring glory to Him with however much time I spend on it.

Facebook abruptly unplugged me a couple of weeks ago. I felt disoriented, bewildered, and sad. It was the exact same feeling of helplessness I felt last year when our credit cards jacked up their rates for no reason, even though we had always paid on time. I felt a sinking feeling. I must have done something wrong, but what? The only thing I could think of was that I was making friends too quickly. But if I wasn’t supposed to make more than one or two friends a day, Facebook should have stated that at the beginning. To just unplug someone abruptly is simply rude. When someone in authority punishes someone under them and gives them no chance to appeal, this is an injustice.

The first thing I thought of was that I lost all my friends. For many of them, I don’t know their last names. And for some of the people that I pray for, I see their picture in my mind, and God knows who they are, but there is no way for me to ever find them. I know that I technically didn’t lose the friends I’ve had for years, but a lot of them, I hadn’t talked to for 20 years. Others that live in my city, we see each other once or twice a year. So, yes, in a way, they’re lost, too. To get in contact with my really good friends one on one would take way too much time, and it’s not possible to stay connected in the same way that Facebook allows you to stay connected.

Back in January, I was told that my dad had cancer, and I felt that it was a death sentence. I walked around the house like a zombie with red, raw eyes. I told my Facebook friends, and about 30 of them gave me sweet notes, and I bawled, not for sadness, but because I was so deeply comforted. One person told me to spend more time with my dad, because every day counts. Another person said her dad was cured from the same cancer. In all the catastrophes that have ever happened in my life (and I’ve had many!), I have never felt so comforted by fellow human beings as I did that day. This is one of my favorite things about Facebook.

I didn’t realize how much I loved my Facebook friends until I lost them. I bawled because there was nothing I could do about it. I’ve had such sweet conversations with people, conversations full of mutual encouragement. Whenever I posted a picture of something my kids were learning in homeschool, many people responded that they looked forward to my posts. I feel like I’ve been jerked away from ministering to people. And they ministered to me, too. I was uplifted and encouraged by them so many times.

As a mother who stays at home, talking with Facebook friends gave me needed adult conversation for the day. I was also able to keep up with friends from all over the world. It was exciting to find some childhood friends from Guatemala, where I grew up. I could see pictures of their spouses and their kids. I found friends from when I lived in England. In such a short amount of time, I could catch up with everyone and feel connected. I also loved meeting new people who homeschool. They gave me fun ideas, and our conversations and banter back and forth was fun.

But what I most need to remember is that God is sovereign over this unplugging. Maybe I was spending too much time on Facebook. I started setting rules for myself to spend less time on it when my husband said to my church friends, “Have you seen my wife? I’ve sent out an APB, and she was last seen on Facebook.” We all had a good laugh, but I felt convicted because my husband is way more important to me than Facebook, but I was sometimes spending time on Facebook instead of spending time with him. That was wrong. I thought to myself that it might be an addiction, because there’s a high that comes from it, because it’s so much fun. I guess I’m now in withdrawal.

Since having been shut off during the last few weeks, I have had more time with my husband and children, and I’ve been able to get more accomplished during the day. Real things, not virtual things. And even though not all addictions are wrong (drinking coffee is not a sin), there are a lot more advantages to being off Facebook than I could have thought possible.

What else is bad, besides the time wasted? Well, if it’s an idol for me, then it’s sin, and I deserve to be knocked off. And may God forgive me. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t.